Ramos's water fall – Real Betis, 2007 When it comes to an insatiable thirst for hurling a random panoply of objects on to the field of play, Spanish fans are among the best. Everyone knows about the infamous pig's head that was launched Luis Figo's way on his return to the Camp Nou. But that was just one object in a catalogue of bizarre missiles that, over the course of his trips to his former club, included a bike chain, golf balls and mobile phones. Oh, and a severed cockerel's head. Then there was the tap at Rayo Vallecano, the lollipops and coins, and the paper airplanes thrown at David Beckham in Pamplona. By the ballboys. Far more serious were the fireworks launched across the stadium when Betis played Sevilla and the frozen water bottle that was thrown at Juande Ramos when the two sides met at the Ruiz de Lopera. Ramos was knocked cold and the culprit was eventually caught. A Betis director insisted that it was an "isolated incident". It most certainly was not. SL … [Read more...] about Gluttony – part four
Midfielder with most goals in premier league
Healy overdoes it – Wales, 2004 Never mind players guilty of career-threatening tackles or swinging their elbows like windscreen wipers. Referees are equally mindful of clamping down on the real deviants: the ones who celebrate goals too zealously. That is why Northern Ireland's David Healy was sent off at the Millennium Stadium in 2004. Having put Northern Ireland 2-0 up against Wales, he celebrated by high-kicking the corner flag and then indulging in his stock celebration - slapping the muscle on one arm into the palm of his other hand. To Healy it was par for the course, but the referee Domenico Messina perceived it as an "up yours" gesture to the Wales fans. He gave Healy one yellow for that and another for his shaolin on the corner flag. The consequence was one of the most peculiar red cards of all time. RS … [Read more...] about Gluttony – part three
FIVER LETTERS “Would it be possible for you to publish an advance schedule of who’s drawn the short straw at Fiver Towers, and has to stay sober/awake long enough to half-heartedly (yes, I’m being generous there) copy and paste a missive together while the rest of the crew can hit the Tin early doors? Just asking for a friend, who despite being no Noble Francis (and indeed, who is?) has had a smattering of successes over the years with letters to The Fiver receiving the honour [cough] of inclusion. But that hasn’t happened once, in all these years, when a certain person whose name sounds a bit like ‘Gary Blendenning’ has been at the editorial tiller. So at the risk of sounding like the kind of conspiracy theorist who may have recently been loitering in the vicinity of 5G masts with a can of petrol and a box of matches, I’m harbouring the suspicion that my drunken and somewhat misjudged heckle (via Twitter) at a Football Weekly Live … [Read more...] about Who wouldn’t want to spend a second consecutive summer day indoors?