GIVEN the lack of alternatives, I think it’s time to put the spotlight on reality TV’s latest panto villain. Wayne Lineker, Gary’s 58-year-old playboy brother. A character so perfect for the medium I’m a bit surprised it’s taken them so long to discover “Mister Ibiza”. E4’s got him under virtual lock and key now, though, on Celebs Go Dating: The Mansion, a socially distanced version of the show where they’ve spared no expense on anything. Except the celebrities. Love Island’s Curtis Pritchard is probably the most recognisable, but after that you’re into the realms of Made In Chelsea’s German heiress Sophie Hermann and Geordie Shore’s Chloe Ferry, who’s killing time here between gruelling work shifts in Dubai “influencing” her fellow morons. They don’t show too much enthusiasm for forming mean-ingful relationships with the civilians, so it’s probably as well they booked “Uncle Wayne”, who stands out for all sorts of reasons. He’s about 30 years older than everything else, for starters, including the mansion. He’s also the only person alive who’s ever shown his cosmetic surgeon a picture of Bigfoot from The Hendersons and said: “Like this, but less animated.”The man does not move easily and speaks in a series… Read full this story
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