We have a culture of people afraid to change but who secretly want to

I saw a cartoon recently in which a butterfly and a caterpillar (stay with me) are sitting at a table, having a drink together, when the caterpillar says to the butterfly, “you’ve changed”. To this, the butterfly responds “we’re supposed to”. It caught my attention because recently I’ve seen, “you’ve changed” being levelled at people as the worst insult possible, as if no offence could be graver than daring to change. We see this a lot with those in the public eye; as I mentioned in last week’s column, we demand a certain level of authenticity from our favourite celebrities, we watch them closely, looking for proof that they have remained ‘real’, that they are, beneath the expensive clothes and perfectly toned abs, ‘just like us’. And while it goes without saying that celebrities are mere human beings and are no more special than any of us, (except for our saviour, Beyoncé), it seems almost ludicrous to demand that they remain completely unaffected by, say, performing in front of 100,000 people, screaming their name, or having their start-up valued at twenty billion dollars. It doesn’t excuse someone turning into a tantrum-throwing monster but wealth and success on that kind of massive scale is such a rarefied occurrence, how could it not change you? All major life changes have a similar impact — the unexpected death of a loved one, for example. A long-term chronic illness. Enduring a traumatic event such as sexual violence, abuse, or a near-death experience. Even with… [Read full story]