'Blimey, you sound so London'.
If I had a pound for every time I'd heard that I'd have a heft deposit for a property somewhere in Zone 2 by now.
Funny that I sound so London, mate. I mean, after all we are in London.
For those of us born and bred in this fair town, there will be moments such as these that our backs arch.
Times when we get asked to do the Lambeth Walk that our bloods boil.
Times when we get asked if our mum is a Pearly Queen that we really lose the plot.
But then there are plenty of times that being from here is actually awesome.
1. You save hours every year by having the in-built knowledge and instinct to never change tubes at Green Park
Because, who needs to be adding four hours and six blisters onto their journey?
2. You could practically enter the Olympics with the speed in which you were born walking
This is London and you do not, and will not, dawdle.
3. You know the best pubs to drink in, and not because they were in Time Out
But because your dad used to drink there and an uncle of yours probably once owned it for a bit in 1986.
4. You're also able to give directions to pretty much anywhere using pubs as landmarks
'Yep, super easy.
'Do a left at The Prince Regent, and when you get down the end opposite the Dog & Duck it's about four doors down on the right-hand side opposite The Manor Arms, mate'.
5. You don't have to spend £16 on brunch in fancy places that advertise avo on toast
Because you know that the best breakfast you're ever going to get is in the caff down the road from your flat.
And yes, your uncle probably ran that for a while once too.
6. You never have to Google getting anyone in to fix your washing machine, or do-up your spare room, or run your clapped-out Citroen Saxo through an MOT
Because you'll always know someone who knows someone in any trade you could possibly think of.
And if they don't, someone down the aforementioned pub will.
7. You got to go on school trips to the Science Museum and the V&A and the House of Commons
Before you were even 15.
8. You don't ever walk into lampposts
Because you just know the quickest way to get from Oxford Circus to Soho without the use of Google.
9. You will be able to tell your children about a time before the London Eye, when you used to be able to pay cash on the bus and when you were able to get a pint in the West End for under £6
Yes, those times did once exist.
10. You were able to enjoy the delights of Madam JoJos
When you were a) far too young to be drinking and b) when your heart was still intact prior to it's closure.
11. You've never felt obliged to put yourself through the agony of actually running the London Marathon
Because nobody from London actually does that.
12. You were able to live at home for the longest time
Because your parents' place is in Zone 2 and getting to work from there takes half the time from where you live now.
13. You can go on and on about the good old days to anyone that will listen
The days before people starting drinking overpriced ale in shipping containers in every neighbourhood they could lay their hands on.
The days when not everything you ate had to be from an organic butchers, and a time where house values weren't determined by the amount of Starbucks in a half-mile radius.
14. Going home for Christmas literally takes you about 25 minutes
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