When we find ourselves neck deep in conflict over something of value to us within a relationship we’re often miserable from the experience yet it is rare that we see the Exit door light in the darkness.
What people normally do is fight the tides, push against resistance and try to will their way to a resolution they believe fair, moral or selfishly theirs. When that approach fails, they try again, either in a civil, moral manner or maybe, depending on character or lack of it, they try to ram their way to what they consider their destiny.
A solution option, and sometimes the only answer, that is not considered is allowing the force of the conflict to have it’s way, to release it. This is difficult because it takes emotional strength and character. Weak people, aggressive-filled humans, selfish souls don’t compromise or sacrifice because they lack strength, courage and character. Someone usually has to give. Not necessarily lose, but give.
Two visuals for you to consider — first, pushing a boulder up hill is painful work. It makes no sense, really. You get nowhere usually. By stepping aside and letting the boulder go, the rock, which in this discussion is conflict, rolls away. Your energy and peace of mind can now be yours again to best use towards progress and not being taken by others and the conflict.
The other visual is courtesy of writer A. Toi Jones, who shares with us “unball your fist. Let go!”
Her viewpoint originates from a Christian perspective. She says by letting go, she doesn’t lose, she wins, because God takes over.
The correlation between this philosophy of letting go and winning and relationships?
Often by deciding to no longer hold on to an argument, a conflict, a grudge and sometimes the relationship itself, we’re freed from the painful and often crushing pain we experience by holding on to that which will never produce peace and harmony.
Some people are simply not going to be agreeable, loving, giving, sacrificial and into mutual happiness. They just aren’t. Fighting a battle with them repeatedly in hopes they’ll do the right thing, that they will finally get it only allows them to batter your mind, heart and oftentimes your health.
“Unball your fist. Let go!”
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