Few things in life hit quite so hard as when your girlfriend decides to call it quits on your relationship. Guys are stereotyped as being hard, unfeeling brutes who can shrug off heartbreak like it never happened, but that’s just not true. Everybody feels the hurt of a breakup… but so too can anybody get over it, if they have the right plan!
It can be a little tricky though, to work things out with a girl who’s had enough to end it. This is why I’ve taken the time to write out for you a few tips that’ll make your efforts a lot easier and more rewarding than if you go it alone. A lot of this stuff is either against your first impulses or a little counter-intuitive, so listen close:
1) Keep it nonthreatening and avoid aggression when you’re communicating with your ex. She’s not going to be too keen on you putting any pressure on her, so do your best to keep things “light.” Being too forward and strong about relationship things is just going to make her react negatively and drive her further away.
She may still love you, but that doesn’t mean she likes you much right now. The very fact that she broke up with you means that your relationship was the cause of a great deal of stress on her, which means she will associate you with stress anyways. Don’t make her right about that, because if you do you run a good chance of losing her for good.
2) Even if it seems impossible due to your breakup pain, it’s vital that you get out of the house and at least pretend to be not just living life normally, but doing quite well for yourself. Surround yourself with friends, and hang out in public “hotspots” like clubs and bars. Look your best whenever you leave your house, and don’t be afraid of the attention of some of the other ladies out there. Socializing with them and even dating one or two of them wouldn’t be the worst thing for you, ESPECIALLY if your ex found out somehow.
If she sees you out and around, enjoying life without her just fine, and doing well with the local singles… what’s going to run through her mind? More often than not, she’ll get a little jealous… both of you and of the other girls. Women are naturally fairly competitive with each other, and seeing others with you won’t make her rush in to claim you, but she’ll definitely start thinking about how she had you and let you go, and how now you seem to be pretty hot. It probably won’t win your battle, but it’ll help.
3) As tempting as it may be when the breakup pain is at its worst, stay away from drugs and alcohol. Getting drunk or high may take your mind off the pain for a while when you’re buzzed, but it’s a short-term fix and having impaired judgement can be a really bad thing when 3 am hits and you’re lonely with a phone within reach. “Drunk dialing,” as it’s called, seems like a great idea at the time, but that sobbing, fumbling message you leave on her voicemail will haunt you.
You may not realize it until morning, but when you do you’ll bang your head against the wall. You appear desperate, helpless, and totally unattractive. She may not openly mock you, but she’ll definitely be thinking “wow, what a loser…so glad I got out of THAT relationship.” Obviously.. this isn’t what you want her to be thinking, so don’t do that!
These are only three fairly simple and specific tips, but just these could help you to avoid some potentially disastrous occasions and even do some good for your campaign to get your ex back. It’s not all you need to know by a long shot, but that’s why I put a link to a great website in the paragraph below. There you can find some great free info and tips just like these, and much more.
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